Bright shiny flowers,
Riddled with holes.
Hiding from the wind,
Turning from the cold.
Striving for shelter,
Some protection from the night.
Hoping the frost,
Will stay away until light.
But then a warmth surrounds them,
A plaid dome turns the cold away.
As their protector blankets their shivers,
And holds their fears at bay.
- are you alive
- do you like mozzarella sticks
I feel like rubs shoulders should be added to this list.
My mind races more than I would like to admit. It does not stay focused on one thing for more than a few minutes. It is like it does not know how to proceed, my mind that is. It does not want to feel. Feeling makes reality exist. Reality is not where we always want to be. When my mind focuses my stomach starts to turn, it is uneasy, and the only way to make it stop is to shift my thought process.
Over and over again the process goes. My mind focuses, and then I force it to move on again. Why as humans do we not like to handle the hard things. Things that make us uncomfortable or cause pain. Pain lets the body know that something is wrong. Do we not want to feel the pain because it hurts, or because it reminds us that something is not right?
Me, I would much rather ignore the matter all together, as you can see. Yet, my mind constantly fights the denial. It constantly turns back to what I do not want to focus on. I can not seem to win. No matter how I try to handle the situation. So why do we fight the pain? Why not just take it head on at the first prick? If we headed it off before it escalated, would that not make our suffering less extensive? Or would the admittance of the pain make it all the more deep?
Once upon a time I was a little girl. Clothed in pink and floating in my castle on a cloud. I lived in a world of fantasy. Always in my own head, forming my own world. I thought my Prince Charming would come swoop me up and we would ride away on his white horse.
Now I’m older. I long ago realized Prince Charming was not coming on his white horse. Since then I’ve developed different notions of what a Prince Charming should be. I have made lists, prayed, and had long discussions into the night with friends. Conclusion? You don’t pick Prince Charming. He does not come riding up on a white horse. In fact, if you would pay attention, you would see him, slowly creeping up when he does appear.
This is not to say you will see it coming. Truthfully, unless you are extremely intuitive, you will not notice he is there until he becomes a part of your life. And this may not be as a lover, of the Victorian sense I mean, he could just be a friend. Slowly entwining himself into who you are.
At first it may seem like forever has passed. Like Prince Charming is never coming, but look around you every now and then. He may not be what you expect, or “your type”. What he is, was made for you, at that part in your life, by God.
Now do not take this as there is someone for everyone always. Some of us, though at times we may not like it are called for an unmarried life. But for those that are not, be patient. One day you will be in the corner talking with someone, and as much as you need to, you will never want to leave… And neither will he.
—-To a dear friend,
Don’t ever think that because someone doesn’t treat you the way you like that you are worthless. Just because someone shows interest and then stops, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. You need nothing but God to define you.
Yet, don’t be swayed away from commitment. It is not all bad, I promise. Don’t be afraid to give your heart away, but also make sure you give it to someone that is worthy. Your wonderful and do not ever let yourself be swayed to think differently.
The Loves Optimist